There are some people who come into your life for a season, some who come for a reason, and others who, no matter how much time passes or how far life's journey takes you apart, leave footprints on your heart that can never be erased.
And sometimes, it takes the finality of death to remind us that just because a relationship ends doesn't mean the love, the memories or the significance of what you shared simply disappear.
As I sit here trying to make sense of your passing, I keep hearing Michael Jackson's hauntingly beautiful song, Gone Too Soon.
“Like a comet Blazing 'cross the evening sky...Gone too soon”
We met in 1995. For 16 years, our lives were intertwined. We shared dreams, laughter, disappointments, victories and challenges. We built memories that neither time nor distance could erase.
And although life eventually led us down different roads, there was always something I was reminded of — our love for "old school" music.
Oh, how we loved our music!
The kind of music that didn't just entertain you but spoke to your soul. Music that told stories about love, heartbreak, forgiveness and the beauty of simply being alive.
“Like a rainbow Fading in the twinkling of an eye...Gone too soon”
I always believed you inherited that love from your daddy. And if there was one thing I knew about you, it was that you were, without question, the ultimate daddy's girl.
I can still remember the first time we met. Little did I know that would lead to 16 years of my life's story. And now, as I reflect on your passing, I realize how quickly the pages of that story turned.
“Shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright, here one day...Gone one night”
When I received the news of your passing, I was stunned. And as the tears began to well up in my eyes, something happened that I wasn't prepared for. The memories came rushing back. Not the disagreements. Not the disappointments. Not the circumstances that eventually separated us. But the memories.
Christmas mornings with your family. Holidays spent with mine. The laughter around dinner tables. The familiar voices of loved ones, some of whom are no longer here themselves. I remembered that trip to Texas when we were taking you to law school and the car broke down along the way. At the time, it was an inconvenience. Today, it is a lasting memory.
“Like the loss of sunlight on a cloudy afternoon...Gone too soon”
Isn't it something how life works? The very moments that once frustrated us can become the memories we cherish most when someone is gone.
And I remember the difficult seasons, too. I remember holding you up when your father passed away. I knew how much he meant to you. I knew that losing him meant losing a piece of your heart. And when my brother transitioned, you were there to hold me up. You sang at his homegoing service. And to this very day, whenever I hear Order My Steps, something happens deep down in my spirit. Because I don't just hear the words. I hear your voice. I remember your strength. I remember your compassion. And I remember how, even in the middle of our own struggles, we somehow found the strength to help carry each other through life's darkest moments.
“Like a castle Built upon a sandy beach...Gone too soon”
Then there were the moments of triumph. I remember watching you graduate from law school. I remember the pride I felt knowing the sacrifices, the long hours and the determination it took for you to reach that milestone. And when Judge Allen swore you in, I was standing there beside you. Proud. Not simply because you had become an attorney, but because I had witnessed the journey. I knew the woman behind the accomplishment. I knew the work behind the success. And no matter what happened between us afterward, nothing can take those moments away.
“Like a perfect flower That is just beyond your reach...Gone too soon”
You see, one of the lessons life has taught me is that a marriage can end without erasing the meaning of the years that came before it. Divorce may change the relationship, but it cannot rewrite history. It cannot erase the laughter. It cannot undo the sacrifices. It cannot take away the times when two people genuinely loved one another and believed they would grow old together.
And perhaps that is why your passing has touched me so deeply. Because even though we had not spoken in years, there was a part of my life's journey that would forever have your name written across it.
I have come to understand that sometimes we grieve not only the person we have lost, but also the memories, the dreams and the younger versions of ourselves who once shared a life with that person. And that kind of grief is difficult to explain. Because how do you mourn someone who was once so close but had become so distant? How do you explain the tears for someone whose life had moved in a different direction from yours?
Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight Here one day Gone one night
Well, from this pew, I've learned something. You don't have to still be married to someone to mourn their passing. You don't have to still be in their life to appreciate the years they were in yours. And you don't have to pretend the love never existed simply because the relationship didn't last forever.
The truth is, some people will always occupy a special place in your heart, not because you wish to return to yesterday, but because yesterday helped make you who you are today. And you were part of my yesterday. A meaningful part. An unforgettable part. And now, a part that has become a permanent memory.
I know that in time the sharpness of this pain will soften. I know that eventually the tears will give way to smiles when I remember the Christmases, the road trips, the music, the accomplishments and the many ordinary days that somehow became extraordinary simply because we shared them.
But today, the hurt is still real. Today, I am still trying to accept that you are gone. Today, the words of “Gone too Soon” carry a meaning I never imagined they would.
I want to believe that somewhere beyond the limits of this earthly life, there is a reunion taking place. And if heaven has a dance floor, I know exactly who is waiting for you. Your daddy. I can almost see him standing there, smiling that familiar smile, reaching out his hand to his little girl. And I can almost hear the music begin. Not just any music. But the music from our very first dance.
“At Last”.
And in that moment, I imagine you smiling, taking your father's hand and finally having the dance that death once interrupted. No more tears. No more separation. No more goodbyes. Just a father and his daughter, together again. And perhaps, in the language of another beautiful song, you are finally getting to “Dance with My Father” once more.
You know, if there is one thing I wish I could tell you today, it is simply this: Thank you. Thank you for the years. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the laughter, the lessons and even the struggles, because they were all part of a chapter of my life that I will never regret having lived.
I wish our story had ended differently. But I am grateful that our story happened at all. And while we may not have gotten the forever we once imagined, we did have our moments. And sometimes, those moments are what remain when everything else has faded.
So today, I won't say goodbye with bitterness, regret or questions about what might have been. I'll simply say, rest well, your work here is done. Your earthly journey is complete.
And somewhere in my heart, whenever an "old-school" song begins to play, whenever I hear "Order My Steps," or whenever the opening notes of "At Last" fill the room, I know I will pause, smile and remember. Because some songs never really end. They just stop playing long enough for us to realize how beautiful the music was.
Some people never really leave us. They simply move from our presence into our memories. So go ahead, take your daddy's hand. Let the music play. And dance.
As for me, I'll hold on to the memories of the years we shared, grateful that for a season in this life, we walked the same road. And though our roads separated long before your journey ended, I never imagined that the final goodbye would come so soon.
Rest in peace, CeCe.
From a man who once held your hand, shared your dreams and will always cherish the memories.
“Like a sunset Dying with the rising of the moon...Gone too soon... Gone too soon”
