The City of Columbus continues to grapple with shootings involving young people, leaving families devastated and neighborhoods searching for answers. While law enforcement addresses crime, many believe the community must also confront the emotional, psychological and social issues affecting young Black males before violence occurs.
For this week's Sunday Conversation, The Courier Eco Latino sits down with Roby Murphy a licensed professional counselor based in Columbus who specializes in working with teens and young adults. to discuss trauma, mental health, fatherhood, schools, social media, faith and what it will take to save the next generation.
Courier: Columbus has experienced far too many shootings involving young Black males. From a therapist's perspective, what do you believe is happening beneath the surface that many people fail to see?
Murphy: From a therapist's perspective, I think what's happening beneath the surface is that many of these young men are carrying pain that people never see. We often focus on the shooting itself, but not always on what came before it. Many have experienced trauma, loss, instability, rejection, hopelessness, or a lack of positive connection long before they ever picked up a weapon.
I also think Columbus has changed significantly from when I was growing up. There seemed to be more opportunities for young people to safely gather and simply be kids. Over the years we've watched community pools close, restaurants and gathering places disappear, and resources become concentrated in certain parts of the city while other neighborhoods have lost many of those opportunities. The issue is much more complex than just losing pools or recreation centers, but when communities lose safe spaces, young people lose healthy outlets and places to build positive relationships.
At the same time, families are under tremendous pressure. Many parents are working longer hours just to make ends meet, which often means less time together. That isn't a criticism of parents. It's the reality many families are facing.
One thing I believe many people underestimate is how deeply young Black men desire connection and a sense of belonging. Every young man is looking for a place where he feels seen, valued, and accepted. When that need goes unmet for long enough, it can leave him vulnerable to finding that connection wherever it's offered, even if the people offering it are not positive influences. The need for connection doesn't disappear. It just gets filled somewhere.
When you combine trauma, fewer positive outlets, less connection, and communities under stress, you create an environment where some young men begin to believe that violence, retaliation, or street culture are the only ways to find identity, protection, or respect. If we only respond to the violence itself without addressing those underlying issues, we'll continue treating the symptoms instead of the cause.
Courier: How can mothers successfully support sons who are growing into manhood when a father isn't present?
Murphy: One of the most important things a mother can do is make sure her son is connected to positive male mentors. That could be through sports, where coaches often become trusted role models, church youth groups, mentoring programs, organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters, or youth mentorship offered by fraternities and other community organizations.
Many young men are trying to figure out what it means to be a man, but they may have limited examples of healthy manhood. While every family's situation is different, boys often benefit from seeing different men model qualities like integrity, responsibility, emotional maturity, accountability, and respect.
One thing I've noticed is that young women are often exposed to many different examples of womanhood throughout their lives. They see mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers, coaches, and other women showing them different ways to be a strong, caring, successful woman. Boys deserve that same opportunity to see different examples of healthy masculinity. No one man represents what it means to be a man, so the more positive male role models a young man has in his life, the more he can develop his own healthy identity instead of relying on unhealthy
messages from peers or social media.
A mother's love, guidance, and stability lay the foundation. Positive male mentors simply add another layer of support that can help reinforce those values as a young man grows into adulthood.
Courier: What would you say directly to a young Black male who feels angry, misunderstood and believes nobody cares about him?
Murphy: Initially, I wouldn't say anything. I think too often with kids, especially in our culture, we've grown up hearing the phrase, "Children should be seen and not heard." Saying that phrase is simply wrong is probably an oversimplification because, in the time period it came from, there were likely reasons it made sense. But today, as adults, we can do real damage when we minimize a young person's experiences or fail to listen to them.
I'd start by giving him the opportunity to talk about his feelings, thoughts, and opinions. We may not always agree with everything he says, but he deserves to feel heard. Listening doesn't mean we approve of every choice or belief. It means we're trying to understand his experience.
Once he knows I'm listening, then we can begin to inspire hope while also holding him accountable. I'd ask him, "What are some steps you think you can take to start changing the things you're angry about?" That shifts the conversation from focusing only on what's happened to him toward what he has the power to do next.
If I can't build enough trust for him to believe that I genuinely care about him, then it's going to be difficult for anything I say to make a difference. Relationships are what create the opportunity for change.
Courier: Are schools doing enough to identify students dealing with trauma, depression and anxiety?
Murphy: I don't think there's a simple yes or no answer to that question. As a former school counselor, I know firsthand that many schools have people who genuinely care and are doing everything they can with the resources they have. At the same time, I think every school could continue improving how they identify and support students experiencing trauma, depression, and anxiety.
One thing people often don't see is how complex the process really is. Schools can't do it alone.It has to be a collaborative effort between schools, families, mental health professionals,community organizations, and the students themselves. It requires trust and communication.Sometimes schools lose that trust, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Other times, parents may be hesitant to engage because of their own negative experiences with schools. Those dynamics make it much harder to identify students who are struggling.
Funding is another part of the conversation that often gets overlooked. It's easy to say schools should add more counselors, social workers, or mental health programs, but every new initiative requires funding. Schools are constantly asking, "Can we afford to implement this?" and unfortunately, the answer isn't always yes. That doesn't mean we stop trying. It means we have to be intentional about how we use the resources we have while continuing to advocate for more.
I've also been on the side where schools offered mental health resources and very few families used them. On the other hand, I've heard parents say they never knew those resources existed. Both experiences can be true, and both point to the need for better communication.
Ultimately, I think the question shouldn't just be whether schools are doing enough. It should be how schools, families, mental health professionals, community organizations, and policymakers can work together to make sure no child falls through the cracks.
Courier: If you could sit down with every teenager in Columbus for one hour, what would be the most important lesson you would want them to leave with?
Murphy: If I had one hour with every teenager in Columbus, I don't know that my primary goal would be to teach them a lesson. I think, as adults, we sometimes become so focused on what we want young people to learn that we forget to ask whether they feel seen, heard, or understood.
One thing I've learned as a therapist is that people are much more open to guidance after they believe someone genuinely cares about them. Teenagers are no different. Before I try to teach them anything, I want to understand their story, what they're carrying, what they're worried about, and what they hope their future looks like.
If there is one lesson I'd want them to leave with, it's that their current circumstances do not have to determine the rest of their lives. No matter where they come from or what mistakes they've made, their story is still being written. There are people who care about them, there are healthier paths forward, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
I would also want them to know that their voice matters. They don't have to carry everything by themselves, and they don't have to believe the lie that no one cares. Sometimes one genuine relationship can change the direction of a person's life, and I hope every young person has the opportunity to experience that.
Courier: What does success look like five years from now if Columbus truly commits to investing in the mental health of young people?
Murphy: Success five years from now would look like more than just lower crime rates or fewer shootings, although I'd certainly hope we'd see both. It would look like a city that has become more connected. A city where young people feel like they belong, where they have access to resources regardless of what part of Columbus they live in, and where mental health is viewed as an investment rather than a reaction to a crisis.
I also think success means involving the community in the solution. I'd love to see Columbus come together and honestly assess itself. What are our strengths? Where are our weaknesses? What opportunities are we missing? What threats do we need to address? In other words, let's do a SWOT analysis of our city and use it to create systems that actually change the trajectory of young people's lives instead of continuing to respond to problems after they've already happened.
Most importantly, young people have to be part of that conversation. We have a responsibility to teach them, but we also have a responsibility to listen. If we truly want to build a healthier Columbus, it can't just be adults deciding what's best for young people. We have to invite them to help shape the future of the city they're going to inherit.
The Courier: "Every headline about another shooting represents a life, a family and a community forever changed. This conversation isn't about assigning blame—it's about understanding the roots of violence and exploring how Columbus can become a city where more young Black men have the opportunity not just to survive, but to thrive."
