A View from a Pew: You Can’t Skip the Semester

My cousin is a university professor, and she once shared something with me that stopped me in my tracks.

She said, “Every single semester—without fail—there is a group of students who simply disappear.”
No communication. No explanation.
They miss class after class, assignment after assignment.
Weeks go by.

Then, near the end of the semester—sometimes the last week—they resurface.

Suddenly there’s urgency.
A mad dash to turn in late work.
Pleading for half credit.
Appeals filled with sincerity and desperation.

And almost every time, it ends the same way: they don’t pass the class.

Not because they aren’t willing to do the work at the end—but because they missed the learning along the way.

She said, “They tell me, ‘But I’m willing to do the work now.’ And I have to tell them, ‘Yes—but you didn’t just miss the work. You missed the learning. You missed the lessons. You missed the engagement. You missed wrestling with the text. Now you’re just trying to plow through to an outcome.’”

That conversation stayed with me because it is one of the clearest metaphors for how so many of us show up in life.

We are outcome-focused people living process-avoidant lives.

We want a college degree, but not a college education.
We want relationships without cultivating connection.
We want titles without responsibility.
We want success without sacrifice.

And in so many of these situations, the outcome becomes insolvent—it can’t hold up. It isn’t sustainable.

Why?
Because the lessons were skipped.
The learning was avoided.
The skills were never developed.
The emotional capital was never built.
The ability to engage conflict, grow through tension, and mature under pressure was never cultivated.

And when the outcome finally arrives—if it arrives at all—it collapses under its own weight.

So as we step into this new season, this new year, and begin listing everything we want, I want to challenge you to make a second list.

What is required of you?

Who do you have to become to carry what you’re asking for?
What do you need to release?
What hard questions do you need to ask yourself?
What sacrifices are you actually willing to make?
Where will you make room to cultivate this new thing?
And what old habits, patterns, or comforts will not work in this new model?

That—all of that—is the process.

And if we could learn to value the process as much as we value the product…
If we could learn to see the gift in the pathway instead of just the payout…
Our outcomes wouldn’t just be achieved—they would be sustained.

From where I’m sitting in this pew, I’ve learned this much:

You can’t skip the semester and still expect the degree.
You can’t avoid the process and still expect the promise.

You have to value the process.