A View From a Pew “Pick a Side: You Can’t Be Grown and a Child at the Same Time”

Let me say this with all the love in my heart: You cannot be grown and a child at the same time. And parents, when you allow your children to straddle both worlds, you are not helping them—you are hurting them.

We have a generation that wants the privileges of adulthood and the protection of childhood—all in the same breath. They want to make grown decisions, but fall back on childish excuses. And instead of raising responsible adults, we’ve got too many enabled dependents—because we haven’t taught them that life doesn’t work like that.

The world is not a light switch. You don’t get to flip between “grown” and “child” depending on the day, your mood, or your money. That’s not how any of this works.

You can’t drink from the cup of adulthood but ask to be burped like a baby when the consequences come. You can’t cuss your parents one minute, then expect them to cosign your car loan the next. You can’t demand freedom, but fold under pressure.
Pick a side.

And parents—stop being afraid to parent. Stop letting your fear of losing your child’s friendship rob them of the guidance they need. They don’t need another buddy. They need a boundary-setter. A truth-teller. Someone who loves them enough to say, “No, you’re not ready.”

Because what happens when that child who’s been allowed to play grown runs into a real-world situation that requires real maturity? What happens when the rent is due, the bills stack up, the job don’t care, and life demands consistency?

What happens is—they break. They fail. They flounder. And they wonder why nobody is coddling them like mama used to.
Because the world doesn’t do part-time grown. The world will not give your child grace because you did. The world will hand them the full weight of their choices—and expect them to carry it.

That’s why your feelings get hurt. That’s why you’re bailing them out of messes they walked into with their chest out.
That’s why some end up lost—emotionally, financially, even spiritually. Because they weren’t prepared to stand on their own.

The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” But if you train them to expect double standards and soft landings, that’s exactly what they’ll search for their whole life. And sadly, they may never find it.

Love your children enough to tell them the truth: You don’t get to be both. You’re either going to grow up, or you’re going to stay in the child’s place. But this back-and-forth lifestyle? That ends today.

Because real love sets expectations. Real love prepares children for life—not just comfort.
And real love knows when to say, “You asked to be grown—so now it’s time to walk in it.”