A THURSDAY VIEW FROM A PEW: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH — RAISE YOUR STANDARDS BEFORE YOU RAISE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Enough is enough. I feel compelled—no, called—to say something about the comments flying across social media about what young ladies expect from men, especially on a first date.
So let me sit down in this pew and speak the truth in love… but with the kind of love that still stings a little:

Ladies, some of you have raised your expectations for others so high they’re brushing the gates of heaven, but your standards for yourselves are so low you’d need a shovel, a flashlight, and a search-and-rescue team to find them.

Before you ask a man where he’s taking you…
Where do YOU take yourself?

Don’t ask that brother for a five-star steakhouse when your bank account only knows fast-food combos and DoorDash discount codes. Don’t demand reservations when the only thing you’ve reserved lately is an attitude, an opinion, and a full Amazon cart.

You’re asking for filet mignon treatment……but you’re feeding yourself spiritual ramen noodles. You want luxury experiences but bring paper-plate habits.

Let me ask you something simple: Show me your spending—what do YOU invest in yourself? Because a date is not a rescue mission. It’s not hunger relief. And it is definitely not an audition to see who can feed you the most.

A first date is supposed to be two grown folks laughing, learning, vibing, and exploring potential. But some of you want level 10 treatment with level 3 responsibility.

And I’m going to say this gently, because the truth doesn’t need to yell: A real lady isn’t looking for a meal—she’s offering value. She’s present. Purposeful. Confident. She’s there to know the man, not use the man.

But when your mindset is stuck in scarcity, your first thought isn’t connection… It’s the carry-out box. You’re thinking leftovers before he’s thinking “Hello.”

That’s not femininity. That’s dependency dressed in designer.

Some of you will spend hundreds on wigs, bundles, lashes, nails, bodies, filters, and enhancements… …but won’t spend $15 on your own lunch unless a man swipes his card.

Hear me from this pew: You can’t expect a man to reserve a table when you don’t even reserve your tone. You want fine dining but serve fast-food behavior.
You want respect but speak reckless.
You want to be cherished but act chaotic. You want to be treated like a limited edition but present yourself like an unlimited trial version.

And let me tell you something the mamas who raised good men already know: They taught their sons to open doors, to pay the bill, to treat women with honor. But they did not raise them to fund your lifestyle, finance your insecurities, or sponsor your survival.

A man elevates the experience when he sees something in you that elevates him. When he sees class, consistency, character, kindness. When your presence inspires him to do more—not pressures him to do the bare minimum just to survive the date.

Entitlement? Ungratefulness? Manipulation? No ma’am. Not today. Not this season. Not from this pew.

If you want a king, carry yourself like royalty. If you want a gentleman, be a gentle woman.
If you want a good man, grow into a good partner.

So from this pew to your heart, let me leave you with a truth wrapped in love:

You cannot demand what you do not demonstrate. You cannot expect what you do not embody. And you cannot receive on level 10 if you only show up on level 2.

Raise your standards for yourself— and watch how the right people rise to meet you.