A Saturday VIEW FROM A PEW “When the Common Denominator Is You”

Do ever wonder why folks keep packing up, walking out, and running for the hills the moment they get close to you? You keep telling the same sad story: “Nobody’s ever there for me… Everybody always leaves… I had to do it all by myself.”

But come on now—tell the truth and shame the devil—some of us love that story because it lets us play the hero and the victim at the same time.

Some people don’t want healing… they want a narrative. They don’t want partnership… they want pity. They don’t want connection… they want control.

And as long as you can say, “I did it all by myself,” you never have to admit the part you played in running good people away.

Yes, life will give you storms. Yes, people will disappoint you. Yes, betrayal is real.

But everybody? The whole cast? Every relationship? Every friend group? Every circle you join… and somehow everybody does you wrong?

That math ain’t mathin’.

At some point—if you’re brave, honest, and ready to grow—you’ve got to ask the most important question in the room:
“What did I do?”

What did you say? How did you show up? What wounds did you bleed onto people who didn’t cut you? What patterns did you repeat because you refused to heal? What version of you pushed away the very folks who were trying to help you hold your life together?

Listen… people don’t flee from peace. They don’t sprint away from kindness. They don’t disappear on healthy love.

Good people leave when staying becomes too painful, too confusing, or too costly.

Here’s the good news: If you are the common denominator, then you are also the solution. If you pushed people away, you can learn to pull healthier people in. If you’ve been the storm, you can become the shelter.

Growth ain’t glamorous. Accountability ain’t comfortable. Self-reflection ain’t cute.

But Lord knows—it’s necessary.

Because the moment you stop rehearsing the “everybody did me wrong” speech and start rewriting the story with truth, healing, and humility… you’ll realize something powerful:

People weren’t leaving you. They were escaping the version of you that refused to grow.

And when you grow? When you heal? When you start choosing honesty over excuses and accountability over applause?

You won’t have to chase people. You won’t have to beg people. You won’t have to wonder why people leave.

They’ll stop running… because you finally stopped giving them a reason to.

That’s the message. Now let the healing begin.